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          Patong Beach, Phuket, Thailand

          Thursday, 13th July 1995

     After my participation in The Quest (Van Damme’s turkey of a movie) things quieted down, as I happily fell into the peaceful rhythm of Phuket Island.

     Even so, there were occasional surprises, such as this night when I had two unexpected visitors arrive at my town house. 

     My first visitor, Khun Som-Mai, appeared a little after midnight; coming from her friend’s birthday party.   She was all decked out in a dress she had made herself, and I must admit she did have designer talent, the flashy gown fitting her trim body most pleasingly.

     We sat on my couch, drinking wine and watching a movie, when I glanced over my shoulder and spied a furry little animal with big, cartoon-eyes, lying on my tiled floor.   “This can’t possibly be real,” I thought.  “It must be Som-Mai’s purse.”  For I had seen similar toy purses the Thai girls carry.  Apparently her purse had fallen off the bar stool.  So I tapped Som-Mai on the shoulder, pointed at this cute, Lilliputian “purse,” and asked, “Is that yours?”

     When she spotted it, Som-Mai jumped up on the couch and uncorked a blood-curdling scream!  Answering my question.  At which juncture, I detected that the “cute purse” was now moving in slow motion.  The “purse” was alive!  Hence Som-Mai’s scream.

     Since I lived on the third and fourth floors next door to the jungle, keeping my doors and windows open for cooling ventilation, I had unwittingly invited my second visitor: enter the Slow Loris.

     Okay, dear reader, so what exactly is a Slow Loris?  No doubt you’re wondering.  Please bear with me as I offer this bit of education.

     First of all they have a round head, a narrow snout, large eyes, and arms and legs that are nearly equal in length, with a soft furry body the size of a small house cat, which makes them cuter than hell.  That’s the upside.  Unfortunately there is also a downside.  They have a toxic bite; the toxin being obtained  by licking a gland on their arm, which is activated by contacting saliva.  This is their deterrent to predators.  In addition, they move slowly and deliberately, making little or no noise, and when threatened, they stop moving and remain motionless.  Little is known about their social structure, but they are known to communicate by scent markings.  They are also omnivores, eating small animals, fruit, tree gum, and other vegetation; and they only come out at night.

     After getting over her initial fright, Som-Mai immediately fell in love with the little guy, consequently feeding the Slow Loris a banana.  It proceeded to explore every room in my town house, both downstairs and upstairs.  I became aware of this by its hands and feet leaving a trail of dusty prints everywhere.  

                    

For some strange reason, the Slow Loris was attracted to my champagne.  Was it an alcoholic?

     Later on that night, when Som-Mai was taking a shower, the Slow Loris joined her for a while.  Eventually crawling out of the bathroom’s open window and disappearing in the jungle.

     Seldom was there ever a dull moment on the Island of Phuket.                 

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