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     Following this - in my SIA 747 check out program - was my old friend the instrument flight simulator; that monstrous, flying computer, which replicated the 747 cockpit always at night.  SIA’s 747 simulator was also located at the Paya Lebar Air Base.

What the massive Flight Simulator looks like on the outside – gyrating on its spindly legs.

Inside the B-747 Flight Simulator – an exact replica of the cockpit – flight simulation always conducted at night .

     SIA would give me ten hours in the simulator, then, if I performed well, they’d put me in a real 747 and have me perform three actual takeoffs and landings.

     It never ceases to amaze me at the amount of information stored in my subconscious.  I hadn’t been in a 747 for two and a half years, yet, after the first 15 minutes in the cockpit, it all came flooding back to me in a rush!  Within the first hour of flying it, my body’s circadian clock became re-tuned to all the old familiar sensations of speeds and profiles.

     Mother Mary on a motorbike, dear reader!  It was as if I’d never left the cockpit of that gigantic beasty - my favorite jet airliner.  I’m back, baby!

     My first eight hours in the simulator went well, handling all the emergencies that were thrown at me, except for one impediment – the newly-hired captain they saddled me with.  His name was Harry, and he was an ex-British Airways 747 captain, in his mid-fifties, who had taken an “early retirement.”

     I always find “early retirement” a bit fishy in the airline game, dear reader.  Usually it indicates one of two things:  Either you’ve achieved financial independence (if so, why are you still flying) or your previous employer has asked you to “retire,” or be fired.

     Captain Harry was a six-foot tall, British Caucasian male, with salt and pepper hair, and slow as molasses in January.  For a guy with a ton of 747 time, he never really seemed to be on top of anything; always being various degrees behind it.  This makes an awful lot of work for the first officer, having to telegraph hints and suggestions, as to what the captain’s next move should be to solve the emergency problem.

     My last two hours in the simulator was my check ride, given to me by check-captain, and simulator instructor, Capt. Teo, a “Peranakan” Chinese (a descendant of traders from the Straits of Malacca, Malaysia).

     Towards the end of my check ride, Capt. Teo set engine number four on fire.

     Here’s a tip, dear reader.  If ever you’re in a four- engine jetliner, the simulator instructor will always fail either outboard engine one or four.  Why?  Because of the yaw you have to deal with – making it more difficult.  They’ll only fail an inboard engine when they want you to do a two-engine approach; always failing two engines on one side.  Producing one monster yaw!  Stomp that rudder and trim like hell, baby!    

     Okay, so now I’ve got the fire bell ringing and the red fire warning light for engine four!  Prompting me to close throttle number four and call aloud: “Engine Fire Checklist!”  At that same moment I’m stepping on the left rudder, keeping the nose straight, and relieving rudder pressure with rudder trim.

     At this point our jobs are divided as follows:

     First Officer:  (That’s me) Fly the 747 on instruments.

     Captain:  (That’s Harry) Work the checklist and handle radio transmissions.

     Flight Engineer:  Read the checklist to the captain. Double-checking he’s throwing the right switches and selectors.

    The flight engineer cancels the annoying fire bell, and begins to read aloud the checklist.  As I’m continuing to fly the 747 on instruments, and re-trimming the rudder for a three-engine operation, I mentally keep track of where they are in the checklist.  As usual, Harry is behind in his responses and actions. 

     Finally they get to item #5, “Fire Bottle - Discharge.”  This is what I’ve been waiting for.  Harry fumbles – at last discharges the fire bottle.  I punch the sweep-second hand on my instrument panel clock, as Harry and the flight engineer continue with the checklist.

B-747 “Fire Bottle - Discharge” handles.

     While I fly the 747, I keep track of the time.  Thirty seconds passes; the red fire warning light doesn’t extinguish.  Number four engine is still burning!

     “Time is up!” I exclaim. “Harry shoot the second fire bottle!”

     To which Harry replies, “Huh...?”

     After I repeat myself, Harry fumbles – eventually discharging the second fire bottle.  Again I punch the clock; waiting for another thirty seconds.

     And while I wait, dear reader, another red light starts to pulsate to life in the back end of my brain.  That sly, crafty Chink!  I know what Capt. Teo is setting me up for!  He’s not going to extinguish that fire in engine number four!

     “Harry!” I exclaim with urgency.  “Declare an emergency and get us a radar vector back to the airfield!”

     To which Harry replies, “Huh...?”

     I repeat myself. 

     Harry contacts the tower (Capt. Teo playing the control tower operator) and gets a radar vector.  I immediately turn the 747 to the new heading back to the airport.  While I’m in the turn the 30 seconds expires.  Sure enough, the fire warning remains illuminated – engine number four continues to burn!

     “Harry!” I exclaim urgently.  “Tell the tower we’re entering a high speed dive to blow out the fire!”

     As I nose the 747 over to build speed, Harry replies, “Huh...?”

     I repeat myself. 

     Harry passes on the information to the tower. 

     The checklist calls for 280 knots minimum to blow out a fire.  I accelerate to 320 knots indicated airspeed!

     “Harry!” I exclaim.  “Tell the flight attendants to prepare for a crash landing!  Tell them we’ll be evacuating on the runway!”

     To which Harry replies, “Huh...?”

     I have to repeat myself.

     This crap is really getting old, dear reader!

     After Harry finishes with the flight attendants, I give him another chore.

     “Harry!  Tell the tower to roll the fire trucks and that we’ll be evacuating on the runway!”

     Once again predictable Harry responds, “Huh...?”

     Hopefully, for the last time, I repeat my instructions.

     I’m so grateful, dear reader, that I didn’t have access to a revolver.  Otherwise there would have been a murder in the cockpit!  And it wouldn’t be a mystery!

     Chopping the power, popping the speed brakes, dropping the landing gear - then retracting the speed brakes and loading up with full flaps - I get this big puppy slowed down barely in time for a landing.  Halting the 747 on the runway and setting the brakes, I call for the “Emergency Evacuation Checklist.” 

     The flight engineer reads the checklist and I perform the items.  After which I pick up the emergency PA hand mic and announce on the Public Address system: “This is the cockpit!  Evacuate!  Evacuate!  Evacuate!”

     Please note the following oxymoron, dear reader.  Whenever I’m in the middle of an emergency situation, for some absurd reason, I don’t stutter.  The way my brain is wired truly baffles me.

     By then everything is turned off in the darkened cockpit, so we all bailout and head for the debriefing room.

     During the debrief, Capt. Teo runs through his copious notes on Capt. Harry; pointing out where improvements should be made.

     Finishing up on Harry, Capt. Teo turns to me.  For a moment he consults his notes, then shrugs and looks up at me.  Finally he says, “Pete, I’ve got nothing for you.  The way you handled that engine fire was outstanding.”

     Totally caught off-guard, I said, “Huh...?”

     While Harry jumped right in, and said, “I agree...damn fine show!”

     Go figure, dear reader.

     Six days later – Thursday, 13^th August 1987 – SIA plops me into a real 747-312, at Changi Airport, with Capt. Teo, and I performed three actual takeoffs and landings.

     Can’t begin to describe, dear reader, what a thrill it was to get my fat, sweaty, helicopter pilot hands on a real 747 again!

     Having no passengers or freight, and carrying minimum fuel, the 747 was “light” and flew similar to a fighter – powered by those four enormous Pratt & Whitney turbojet engines - producing 53,000 pounds of thrust each (212,000 pounds total).  I would never experience breathtaking flight like this again.  After today I’d be flying passengers and freight, and tons of long range fuel; never to fly the amazing 747 empty.

     Pleased with my performance, Capt. Teo signed me off for line training.

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